speakscanadian | [truth plot] Asher

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[truth plot] Asher

In all his time on the island, this was the first that Ray had stood within the orchard overlooking the garden. He'd needed a quiet place to think, where he wouldn't risk questions coming at him left, right and centre. After badgering Danica for twenty minutes in the morning, he'd made the nasty discovery that he too was a pawn in the island's antics today. The trees provided the kind of cover he needed.

Not that he was hiding. He wasn't the one that had been hiding anything.

Groaning when he realised he was still thinking about it, Ray tipped his head back and took a deep breath. Overhanging leaves filled his vision, all fresh and bursting with color. It was pretty depressing, considering how he was feeling inside.

Asher had bitten Stephen and he'd shot a bear. The words had come out of his own mouth. And still he'd lied about Rorshach, despite those confessions. Granted, Ray and he hadn't been on the best of terms back then, but he had had every opportunity to come clean since.

Maybe he shouldn't have been surprised. Maybe deep down he'd known all along and had decided it wasn't a big enough deal to stop him getting closer to Asher. If that was the case, then it was all on Ray.

Dropping his head, he walked aimlessly amongst the trees towards the pathway. He'd spent most of his life relying on his hunches but it had only taken one man, this man, to stop him doing what he did best. Instinct was key to avoiding mistakes but Ray had stopped listening to his. He'd thought he'd been following it when he'd brushed aside his uncertainties and let himself fall for Asher but perhaps he'd hadn't. Maybe he'd been wrong. Maybe.

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"I usually do say what I want. That's got nothing to do with being forced to spew the truth." If it were that simple, then Ray wouldn't be so worried about looking at him. "You say what you don't want, too, but it's still the truth."

Asher clearly had a better track record than Ray did when it came to saying what he meant. Ray's record so far was sincerely lagging behind.

"Then what're you worried about, if it's not that?" It took him a long moment to hear his own words back and he gaped for a second at Asher. "I'm sorry." He started wriggling quickly up the bed as if he hadn't asked a thing. "Nap time."

"I'm not sure yet," Asher answered, glaring over at Ray. "Considering how great you're doing at keeping quiet that probably won't last too long."

"What? I'm almost napping," Ray answered innocently, kicking off his second shoe and curling on his side in the shade. "See? I'd probably fall asleep quicker if you-" He tapped his hand on the empty space beside him.

"Uh-huh," he said, clearly unconvinced by Ray's claim. Still, he shifted further along the bed, laying back beside Ray. Rather than remove his shoes, he kept his legs over the side, his fingers laced together on his stomach. "Sleeping yet?"

"Getting there," he replied, peeking an eye open to see if Asher was looking at him. When he felt safe enough, he opened both and studied Asher's profile for a while. He couldn't spot one flaw. He was pretty convinced then that it was the perfect image to fall asleep to.

His eyes slipped closed again and he breathed calmly. "If you disappear before I'm awake, don't forget to leave the money on the side. Benjamins only."

"For what?" Asher asked, tipping his head to the side to look over at Ray. "Trying to check my gun, under the guise of feeling me up? That's not worth a Washington."

Ray scrunched his nose lightly and moved his head an inch closer to Asher's. "No... For being the one that you want, I am the one you want, ooh ooh ooh, honey," he sing-songed quietly, making the mistake of looking at him. "I love," he cleared his throat, breaking his gaze and shifting onto his back, "that song. Christ, this curse is embarrassing." He wasn't going to let it be known that he'd sung the tune of his own accord.

"The quicker you fall asleep, the less embarrassment there should be." Unless Ray chose today as the day to start sleep talking.

"Unless you can perform magic in bed," Ray began, glancing over at Asher and lifting his eyebrows, "I can't fall asleep on demand." He pushed himself up onto his elbows and huffed a sigh. "And I don't think a nap is gonna do it."

"That usually has the opposite effect," Asher said. If anyone was falling asleep during that particular activity then something was definitely, horribly wrong. "Why suggest a nap if you knew it wasn't going to help?"

"I didn't know." Rocking onto one elbow, he leaned over Asher and left a kiss by the side of his mouth while he could. "I may have underestimated my frustration," he admitted, sitting up and shifting to the edge of the bed. At least it had been downgraded from rage. Either way, he couldn't sleep with it on his mind. "I should probably go work it out of my system."

"...uh-huh. Just be sure to wash your hands when you're finished." Asher said, interlocking his fingers behind his head.

"You're sick," Ray told him, a little annoyed that Asher wasn't taking it seriously. Looking over his shoulder at Asher relaxing didn't help at all. "You realize you haven't even apologized for lying. Even out of politeness, if not sincerity."

"You love it," Asher replied, stretching his back. It wasn't his fault Ray didn't choose his words more carefully. "And I didn't apologize because I'm not sorry. Like I said, nothing had happened between us at that point, so there was nothing to tell you and nothing to apologize for now. If we were... a thing at that time, then, yeah, maybe I'd have something to be sorry for. We weren't."

Asher was acting like a goddamn cat; smug and lazy and apathetic. It made Ray bristle, his hackles rising.

"I love what?" He asked defensively, standing up and turning to Asher. He was slightly panicked but he hid it well. "Yeah, well, we're a thing now, but I'm betting if I'd asked you again what happened on a regular island day, you still would've told me I'm delusional." And because he knew Asher wouldn't reply unless he had to, he sucked in a steely breath and added: "Am I wrong?"

"I don't know. If I thought you were gonna act like this, yes. But you haven't asked me since then, so how the fuck should I know? Assume what you want." If nothing else, at least the sun was out of his eyes now that Ray was standing up.

"I'm not assuming what I want, I'm assuming what I don't want," Ray grated, folding his arms and staring.

"Haven't you ever heard the saying that you're not supposed to assume? It makes an ass out of you," Asher emphasized and rolled his eyes. "Why the fuck are you doing this? Are you that bored?"

"You just told me to a--" Ray threw up his hands. Trying to ignore how mad he had been before Asher had turned up wasn't working any longer. Asher had that effect sometimes, of making Ray forget the bad stuff just by being so close by.

"You're not taking this seriously, Asher. I am pissed at you." He spoke as clearly as he could, keeping the flapping hands at bay. "Whether or not you think I have a right to be now doesn't come into it. You know why I'm pissed and you're still acting like it's my problem, not ours."

"You're just going to have to stay pissed, then, because I'm not apologizing for what I'm not sorry for." Even if he did want to say it just to appease Ray, he probably wouldn't be able to since it wasn't true. "I don't know what else you want me to do."

"Why can't you just admit that you're in the wrong for once?" Ray asked, shaking his head in disbelief. It was like Asher just didn't care. "You're making me feel like I ain't got a right to feel this way."

"Because I don't think that I am. Feel what you need to, but it's not going to change my opinion. Someone fucked with my sister, I took care of it, you were the cop just looking for an excuse to slap me with a charge. It's as simple as that." Or it was to him. If Ray wanted to complicate things then Asher could hardly be blamed for that.

"No, I was the cop doing my job," Ray snapped, his job being to put away people exactly like Asher. He'd been doing it pretty damn well until he'd let personal issues get in the way. "I didn't suddenly change when we got together, you know. I'm the same person you point blank lied to. That doesn't change just because you had reasons for lyin'."

"Fine. Then I was the criminal trying to save his own ass. Still plenty of reason not to tell you, still not sorry. I'm done." Neither of them seemed prepared to budge on their views, and he wasn't going to argue about it anymore.

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