"May as well. That way, at least I'll actually be guilty of something on the list." Unless he added the smoking indoors thing to it, but that hardly merited an arrest.

Asher wasn't stupid, or not in the way Ray assumed, at least. By then he knew who was likely responsible, even if the detective who probably had trouble detecting the giant nose on his own face didn't. There were plenty of former vampires on the island, but only three that he knew of who were still packing, so to speak. He was one, a member of the IPD was another, and his fucking sister was the third and most recent.

As pissed as he should have been at her, he'd done the same thing when he'd gotten his back. Apparently Stephen was good for something (not that he'd give him credit for it out loud), because none of this had happened when he was the victim.

"Did I say thirty?" Asher asked casually. Then, as promised, without any further warning, his knee shot up swiftly, connecting with Ray's crotch. "I meant twenty."

It was probably the most unmanly noise ever heard in the presence of another guy but right then, Ray couldn't keep it in, not when his dick was about to fall off.

He doubled-over slowly, staggering back a few steps to grasp the edge of the table with his free hand. The other was glued to his crotch.

"Oh boy," he squeaked. "You've really gone and done it now."

"What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" Asher asked dryly, rolling his shoulders and eying the door over Ray's hunched form. There was no point in so much as attempting to leave as long as the cuffs were still on.

"Doubt you were using that anyway. I'm still probably the closest you've come to getting any here and that was because I was possessed." Which Asher figured had something to do with the contempt. "You want a confession? Fine. I did bite someone. Stephen. Just the once, despite the fact that he flat out asked me to do it again, warped human being that he is. He'll deny that. I shot someone... something, technically. A bear. In my defense, it started it. Both were a million years ago and neither of them filed a report or pressed charges. Now, when you can stand up straight again I suggest you pull your head out of your ass and stop trying to make me your career making collar on the island."

When the scary-ass masked guy had ended up in the clinic with a gunshot wound, Ray had checked out his hut and come across the dino claws. Considering the gashes on Asher's sister, it didn't take a rock scientist to put two and two together and come up with a huge cover-up.

Speaking of. Ray levered himself back upright and turned a furrowed gaze on Asher. "But Danica practically told me you'd done it. Sister and guy spend the night together, overbearing brother gets protective, guy gets it in the neck." Literally, in this case. "It's textbook."

"Your textbook is outdated." And his sister was officially on his shit-list.

Dr Cooper was the only reason Danica was still alive. Along with the fact that he wasn't Lew Ashby, that practically made him Asher's favorite person on the island, even if he never really went out of his way to express it.

"You might officially be the dumbest person I know. Congratulations."

"So what're you saying?" Ray demanded, after loosening his belt a few notches. His mind was instantly racing to the next conclusion, the next conspiracy. "She lied?"

Why would she lie? Most people did that to hide something. Like their own guilt.

"You're saying she did it. She bit Dr Cooper." His eyes narrowed. But why? Unless it was some sort of erotic thing that got out of hand. But then why cover it up by claiming it was an animal attack? The cogs turned in Ray's head and he stood a little straighter. "So I should be arresting her..."

"Stop putting words in my mouth. Outdated. Dumb. When did I say anything about my sister? Seriously... do you have any idea what you're doing?"

Answer: no, of course not.

"You're a joke, and not even a mildly funny one. Who the fuck is running the IPD, anyway? Maybe their sense of humor is different than mine."

"And you're a liar, even if you're not lying about this. You think she'd fair well in jail?" Ray asked, his lip pulling up in derision. Asher seemed to think he liked people getting hurt, so it gave him something to investigate. True, he might pay closer attention to the Talos siblings than other people but he felt he had good reason. "I don't."

"I just gave you two confessions, but fine, I'm a liar." Technically, he never lied, he just never confessed to shooting the ass who attacked his sister. Not that it mattered much now. The guy was gone and life went on.

"Look, whatever." Exasperated, Ray ran his palms over his bowed head to try to think straight. Yet again nothing had turned out like he had hoped; he was left looking like a moron while Asher went scot free.

Ray turned to face the door and stared at it as if trying to remember what he was going to do.

Danica. Right.

"Stay here. I gotta go arrest your sister."

While Ray hesitated (probably trying to remember how that pesky walking thing went), Asher quickly moved around him, positioning himself in front of the door. "What you need to do it get these things off me. Don't think I won't knee you in the groin again."

He sighed, back teeth grinding as he contemplated his next move. "Look... She did it, she didn't do it, I don't know. All I do know is how it worked when I got my fangs back. The instinct to bite came back with them, but it didn't stay. Frankly, you people all taste like shit and that's enough to stave off wanting to do it again."

Ray couldn't help it; his hands instinctively went to cover his groin at Asher's renewed threat. When he realized what he'd done, he removed them slowly and rested them on his waist.

"So you bit just the one person? Stephen?" He tilted his head, surveying Asher closely; every reaction, not matter how small, was noted. "One was enough and that was it?"

Just the one had been more than enough for him, but with Danica, who could really tell. He was hardly going to let Ray in on his uncertainty, though. "That was it. It was that bad."

That didn't mean he wouldn't still shoot a person dead or beat them within an inch of their life, but it would take a hell of a lot for him to resort to using his fangs in that capacity as long as his taste buds were still human.

Eyes narrowing slightly, Ray stared and scrutinized, one of his fingers tapping out of rhythm on his hip. He pursed his lips like he'd come to a decision.

"Can you give me a personal guarantee that she'll never bite anyone?" Again, he added in his head but he was wise enough - and sore enough - to keep that part to himself. "Short of fixing a muzzle over her mouth, can you gimme that?"

"I can't hear you over the sound of metal." Asher said, clanking the cuffs on each wrists together and looking at Ray expectantly.

Ray huffed out a short sigh through his nose and hooked a couple of fingers around the link between the metal loops on Asher's wrists. It stopped the clanking at least.

With his free hand he began to reach into his pocket. "Guarantee?"

"I'm not an idiot. When it comes to my sister, I guarantee nothing." He wasn't sure Ray would fully appreciate his honesty just then, but that wasn't something he was going to lie about.

"We're both clear on the fact that I'm innocent, right? You keep these things on much longer and I'll be forced to assume it's not strictly for safety reasons." Not that they'd kept Ray very safe thus far. Just proof that they were completely unnecessary.

"Not at all," Ray confessed but he eventually reached into his pocket nonetheless. He lifted a shoulder in a half-hearted shrug. "Truth is, I can't charge either of you anyway, even if I wanted to. Dr Cooper claims it was an animal attack." Ray said the last part in such a way as to presume they both knew that part was made up, at least.

"No victim, no crime." His hand came out empty. "You seen the key anywhere?"

Asher looked over his shoulder, glaring at Ray and making it inescapably clear that he didn't find the question at all amusing. "No, but I think I feel a cramp that needs working out in my knee."

"You too? Must be going 'round," Ray deadpanned, reaching back into his pocket and withdrawing the key. "Joke," he emphasised, dangling it in front of Asher as proof.

He stuck out a hand for the other man's wrists again. "C'mon. Haven't got all day."

"Yes, you are. I've already told you that." Asher said, turning back around. He didn't particularly mind Ray saying so himself. "You could have saved us both a lot of time by thinking first, arresting never."

"I'm thinking now," Ray shot back, yanking on Asher's wrists harder than necessary before shoving the key in the lock and twisting. "One of you bit him. You're just goddamn lucky he's keeping his mouth shut." Lucky was practically the Talos siblings middle name now in Ray's book. "Too bad neither of you coulda done the same."

"He'll live." He'd have a scar and some paranoia, but he'd be alive to have both those things, which was more than a lot of people they'd bitten got to boast. "That's gotta count for something."

Ray thought about that as he worked the cuffs off, letting Asher's wrists go and clicking the cuffs closed again. He tossed them on the table behind him. "Less paperwork for me," he concluded, turning back to Asher with a vacant expression.

"Right. You're not at all disappointed," Asher said, rubbing at one of his wrists and rolling the joint over. "You owe me a cigarette."

"Your lungs are the only bit of you that like me right now," Ray shot back, taking Asher by the elbow and moving him towards the door. "Now go, before I order a strip search."

Ray really wouldn't have been surprised if Asher was packing on a regular basis but for once, he didn't feel inclined to accuse him of that too.

"My knee liked your nuts just fine," he quipped, tugging out of Ray's grip. Innocence came along with the luxury of not being manhandled, he felt. "You don't have to tell me twice."

A less intrusive pat-down would have revealed that he was armed, in fact, just as he always was, but he wasn't about to rub that in Ray's face. He had to save something for next time, because he was completely convinced that there would be a next time.

"And yet." Ray deadpanned, nodding at the door again. "Your cancer sticks are waiting."

A stiff drink was what he wanted now but it looked more like he was going to hole himself up in the office for a couple of hours and try and figure out what had just happened.

He rubbed the heels of his hands into his eye sockets. "Say hi to your sister from me."