for Jack

[speakscanadian]

The monkey was mocking him.

Ray could tell by the way its teeth chattered as if laughing. By the patronizing way it tilted its head. But the so not cute way it mimicked every one of Ray's stances.

The first rule of martial arts - he didn't actually know if it was officially the first rule but it was a rule anyway - was to stay calm and centered. The monkey, however, did nothing but annoy and fluster him, and when something did that, Ray lost all concentration and brought out his own secret weapon.

The Cop Finger.

He pointed it like he'd never pointed before.

"I will karate chop your head off if you don't get outta here," he demanded, kicking his foot sharply, despite the distance between him and the pest. His palms sliced through the air a few times and he sucked in a breath, planting his feet on the grass evenly beneath him. "Don't question Phoenix Arm!"

Comments

[dying-breed.livejournal.com]

"Try shooting him," Jack suggested. "That generally works wonders." Or, it did. Knowing the flea bitten little menace was no longer affected by the Curse of Cortés did present a bit of a hangup. He wouldn't admit it now or ever, but Jack just didn't have the heart to kill him, no matter how much he deserved it.

Someone else killing him, however, he could easily get behind.

[speakscanadian.livejournal.com]

"It's not my responsibility to shoot it," Ray insisted, rolling his eyes when Jack appeared. Sure, the monkey was causing a problem for him but why did Ray have to do all the grunt work?

"Could you do something?" He asked, though it was more of a demand than anything. "It's ruining my chi."

[dying-breed.livejournal.com]

"And for that, you have my sincerest apologies," he said, despite not actually feeling the least bit apologetic at all. "But, better yours than mine, mate," he concluded with a smirk.

[speakscanadian.livejournal.com]

"Yeah, you sound really sorry," Ray drawled, closing his eyes in a futile attempt to regain some of his zen.

It lasted all of two seconds before he peeked an eye open in annoyance.

"Shouldn't you be off pillaging something? Give me a reason to arrest you," he added under his breath. A night when Jack was in an IPD cell was a good night for everyone.

[dying-breed.livejournal.com]

"One would think I've already given you exactly that," Jack reminded him. As someone who'd had his own ship stolen not once, not twice, but... more times than he really cared to recall, he knew that, if it were him (again), he wouldn't have let the thief off so easily.

If nothing else, all it did was show how little the other man cared for his ship. And Jack would file that fact away for future reference.

[speakscanadian.livejournal.com]

"Then I guess we can skip straight to the arresting?" Ray asked with hope in his voice, turning to Jack, having visibly perked up. He circled a finger at him. "I do believe you're loitering right now."

[dying-breed.livejournal.com]

"Am I? Alright, then. So's he," Jack said, pointing his own finger down at the monkey. "I want him arrested."

[speakscanadian.livejournal.com]

The monkey lifted its own finger and despite looking at Jack, pointed it straight at Ray, in some sort of triple stand-off.

"You don't mind sharing a cell, do you?" Ray asked him, eyes narrowing. Maybe the threat alone would make him reconsider.

[dying-breed.livejournal.com]

"Profusely. I'm a bit uncomfortable with his current proximity to me, to be quite honest." Actually, having the monkey here, out in the open, meant he wasn't back on the Pearl and that he didn't mind at all.

[speakscanadian.livejournal.com]

"Join the club," Ray muttered, his mouth falling into a frown. He was slowly realizing the futility of shooing both monkey and pirate away when they simply kept popping up again and again.

Pinching the bridge of his nose, Ray sighed. Pirates weren't pirates for no reason. They played dirty and Ray wasn't blind to bribery. "What will it take for you to remove yourself and your monkey from my sight?"

[dying-breed.livejournal.com]

"He is not my monkey," Jack replied sternly. "He won't listen to me anymore than he does you. So, while you need only say the words to have me off on me merry way, to leave you to your--" He mimicked Ray's ridiculous hand motions before hitching a thumb over at the monkey. "It's going to take more than that to rid yourself of him."

Like, say, a bullet.

[speakscanadian.livejournal.com]

"The words," Ray said before Jack had finished speaking. If what he said was true and the monkey would stay there as long as it wanted to, then at least Ray could get rid of one of them. "The words. And it is your monkey if it's come from your time."

Just like those dead bodies in plastic wrap were Asher's responsibility when they'd turned up. It was simple logic to Ray.

[dying-breed.livejournal.com]

"Have it your way. He's your problem now." With a flourish of his hat, Jack turned to go, but not without hissing at the monkey as he passed it by.

[speakscanadian.livejournal.com]

"I want it known," Ray called out, body tense with frustration, "that I am not happy about this!" It was hardly the best comeback he'd ever had but at least it was one hundred percent true.