speakscanadian | Detective Ray Vecchio, IMP!

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asher

Detective Ray Vecchio, IMP!

"I can't believe I did that I can't believe I did that I can't believe!" Ray flapped his hands and high-tailed it out of the stable, hopping around in circles and visibly shuddering. "I can't believe I did that!"

There was a reason why horses weren't man's best friend and that reason was glaringly obvious to Ray. They stunk. And tried to kick him. And head-butt him whenever his back was turned.

Huffing out a deep breath, Ray pinched two fingers and pulled off his gloves, work done for the morning. He'd forgotten how sucky it was getting up early to tend to two spoiled sets of hooves, and he definitely hadn't appreciated the time in-between these stints enough, when he'd been able to sleep in and not smell of manure. He thanked God he lived alone, otherwise his roommates might have thought there was something wrong with his own bowels...

Tossing the gloves on the floor, Ray looked himself over, checking to make sure he wasn't too cruddy. He'd leave the saddling up and...whatever else needed to be done to Asher and spend the time psyching himself up instead. The faster he learned how to control those things, the less time he'd have to play care-giver.

"C'mooon," he called out, swinging his hands together and shaking out his legs, a clear sign of the nerves he was trying to disguise with over-confidence. "Don't bother with a seat, I'll do it bareback if I have to."

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"You teach yourself all this?" Ray asked, watching Asher climb up like he'd done it a hundred times before. He mimicked the posture, straightening his spine and pushing back his shoulders.

Gripping the reins, he lightly pressed his foot into Beau's side and nothing much happened, so he did it again, digging his heels in until the horse moved. "Whoo! We have take-off!" Less bat out of hell, more elderly person on a walk though. Ray's eyes widened a little at the slow up and down. "Huh. This feels...new."

"Mostly. Not like my parents paid for equestrian classes so I had to lean by watching and doing... and trial and error."

Starting Belle on a slow walk, Asher kept her up to pace beside Beau. "How about you hold off celebrating till you can manage to get up to more than two miles per hour on him."

The only criminals Ray could catch on horseback right now would be crippled ones, dragging themselves along the ground to get away. And he didn't think there were many of those on the island.

"I'm cruising. That deserves a little recognition." Not that he really knew where he was going; Beau was controlling the direction right then. Ray gave an experimental tug on one side and veered towards Belle. "Woaaah. Bros before hos!" Because of course it was Beau's fault. "This is not the time to go sniffing around your woman."

"Right... Any slower and you'd be going backwards," he said, trying to pull Belle out of the way before they had a full on collision. "They're horses, Vecchio, not bumper cars. Stay in your lane."

"I didn't do anything!" Ray insisted, his voice hitting a high pitch that gave away his belief that he was in the right. He was still tugging the rein that was making Beau veer, unaware that that was the cause of his wonky journey. "This thing is broken. Look how he's bending."

"He's not doing anything but what you're telling him to do. You said you were with me when I explained what the reins did." Clearly, Ray was a great big liar. That, or he was just stupid. "Pull the other one to get him to go the other way."

"Oh my God," Ray muttered to himself, pulling the other rein. Lo and behold, Beau straightened up, but Ray was still wondering why it all couldn't be simpler. "Stick close, okay? Don't let me go off on my own." He started pulling left then right to practise, short, quick tugs each way, like the horse would know he was just trying it out and wasn't actually confused about which way to turn. If there were cones to weave in and out of, Beau would be trampling all over them right now.

"Don't try to run my horse off the road again and I won't have to leave as much space between the two of them." At this rate, Asher wasn't sure how many of these sessions it would take till he thought Ray could handle Beau out beyond the fenced in pasture without killing himself. It was a shame they didn't make training wheels for horses, because he was in definite need of them.

"Look, I'm nervous, okay? And this seat hurts my ass." If he going to admit to being scared, he may as well go the whole hog. "But I got it now." He let Beau go as he wished, motioning him each way as he walked. "See? I got the magic touch. Now I just need the accelerator."

"Saddle," Asher immediately corrected. "And maybe we'll look into a sidesaddle for you next time, princess. But if you think that's uncomfortable, you wouldn't be able to ride without one like you suggested."

"Saddle, whatever." Ray wanted to be able to ride a horse, not talk about one without the word police on his ass. "How do I look? Do I look like I know what I'm doing?" That was half the battle right there.

"Like a guy from the city who's been sat on a horse for the first time?" But maybe that was because Asher knew Ray was from a big city and that it was his first time on a horse. "You can't expect miracles right out of the gate."

Ray's face fell since he'd kinda been expecting them and he dug his heels in harder, Beau speeding to a trot. Ray bounced everywhere in the saddle, posture nearly crumbling. "Holy shi--Asherrrr! Don't let me--! What the hell is this! Ow. Ow. Ow, oh God, I'm gonna die." He'd seen his fair share of Westerns but being inside the tv, on the big horse, was something entirely different.

Asher rolled his eyes skyward before he coaxed Belle to speed up to a trot and follow in pursuit. "If you want him to ease back into a walk then pull back gently on both reins," Asher called out, not sure if Ray was even listening to him any more or if he was just in full panic mode.

"Or if you want to stay in the trot and not have your ass absorb all the shock, find the two beat rhythm of the horse's trot and stay seated for one, but rise out of the saddle slightly on the second. Keep your feet firmly in both stirrups."

Christ, he was gonna die...

Now was not the time for choices and Ray was only half listening anyway.

"Find two what?!" he yelled, letting go of the reins and holding up his palms like he'd pressed the wrong button, only then realizing how bad an idea that was. To save himself from falling, he tightened his grip with his feet, Beau quickening a little and sending Ray forward to cling onto his neck. "Make it stop! I wanna get off!"

"What's the matter with you?! Who the fuck lets go of the steering wheel?!" Asher yelled after him. He was half tempted to let Beau keep on going until he tired himself out or Ray fell off, whichever came first.

Speeding up, he maneuvered Belle up beside Beau, pulling out just a few paces ahead of him in order to grab his reins and tug back, bringing Belle down to a slow stop at the same time. "What the fuck was that?"

Ray had his eyes screwed shut, even after the horse had stopped moving.

"I panicked!" There was a high shrill in his voice. "I'm alive. Thank God, I'm alive." His grip on Beau's neck hadn't let up though. He panted through an open mouth. "I'm alive."

"Yeah, your stupidity didn't get you killed. Congratulations. Are you staying on or not?" He asked, holding the reins out to him. "What the hell possessed you to want to do this, anyway?"

"Fraser," Ray answered simply, and his Mountie friend was also the reason he pushed himself back up and tentatively took the reins from Asher. "We got no cop cars either," he shrugged, "so horses are the next best option. Show me the two step thing?"

"...Asher," he corrected yet again, assuming the trauma Ray had just endured might have knocked names loose in his head.

"You have to get the horse trotting again. On purpose preferably." Without freaking out would have been a big plus, too. "You move up and down out of the saddle in time with the horse's stride; up for one beat, down on the next," Asher explained, then encouraged Belle into a slow trot to demonstrate quickly before pulling back alongside Beau. "Bouncing around in the saddle like you just did is fine, but the impact's not much fun for you or the horse after a while."

"I know what your name is," Ray muttered, securing his feet back into the stirrups and watching the demonstration. He tried to count along and just caught the beat as Asher finished.

"Not much fun? That's an understatement. I feel like I've been--" He flicked his gaze over to Asher before shutting his mouth. "Uhh, never mind. Mush, mush." He got Beau going again, slower this time. Starting was pretty easy; it was the stopping Ray had a problem with. "One two one two one two..." He continued to count. It was a fair attempt, if a little off-rhythm sometimes.

"Violated by a horse?" Asher asked in an overly chipper tone.

While he still followed, Asher kept slightly further behind this time, which Ray might have appreciated once he started counting, just to throw him off. "Three, seven, fourteen, twenty-seven, thirty-five..."

Ray wisely chose to ignore Asher's horse comment and focus on the counting. Little did he expect his instructor to sabotage that.

"Four, five, seven, twenty-eigh--Asher!" Rhythm disturbed, he started bouncing in the saddle again, butt taking the brunt of it. He whipped his head around to glare at him, face full of exasperation. "I'm trying to concentrate! One. Two. One. Two," he enunciated, pointedly raising his voice.

Asher sent a look of feigned innocence right back at him. "If you need to concentrate on counting to two, then maybe you need to stop wasting your time here and take up a math class instead."

A fake laugh came from Ray before his face fell flat and unimpressed. He hauled Beau back a little, so he slowed to a walk.

"I'm getting the distinct feeling you don't wanna teach me this."

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